Am I an artist?
Or should my question be What is an artist?
The dictionary would suggest something quite simple: “One who creates art”. Which is then defined as “The conscious use of skill and creative imagination”. This is all very broad, and maybe that’s a good thing. To what use would we gatekeep art? As a society, we should be striving to create as many artists as possible. But why then do I feel like such a fraud? As if being an artist was a title you earn, and not something that you are.
About
Spoiler Alert: an artist.
It is the fear of judgment which is stopping me from freely calling myself an artist. Which is ridiculous when you stop and think about it. I am not scared of other artists calling me out, for any one of them is happy to see and help the fledglings start their artistic journey. Even in my case, nothing makes me happier than to advise burgeoning photographers seeking reassurance or simple tips and tricks.
Who else then would judge me?
The average person doesn’t judge others for following their passions, well, in any case, the kind of people you want to associate with aren’t. Pushing someone to stop creating art must be the most incomprehensible action I can think of, but still, I have witnessed some who do that very exact thing. Carving them out of your life can be complicated and painful, but I needed to be able to strive, to be able to progress and be who I want to be.
About
Freeing yourself from judgement means creating whatever you may please, even if experimental. (My blurry sister, near Old Quebec)
I want to get into more details regarding those people, those few specific persons who I identify as net negatives to my life. Not to rant, but to help you identify the patterns they go through. It isn’t always evident that they aren’t on your side. They’ll be your friends, you could very well be close to them, but still, they don’t have your best interests at heart. It’s hard to say what drives them to act that way, to bring you down, to crush your motivation; maybe they get a kick out of it?
What I find to be the most probable explanation is the complete lack of self-awareness and empathy; they don’t see or feel the consequences of their words. In their mind, and they’ll be blatant, it’s for your own good. Their outlook on life and what it should be is the only correct one to them, and they impose it on you; they judge and criticize you for not doing what they would be doing. Overflowing with confidence, it isn’t even a possibility to be wrong in their mind, and only they have the correct vision.
What I’ve also found to be the case is that they seem to have an internal hierarchy; they rank their peers above, below, or equal to them. Anything less than equal isn’t deserving the same kind of respect as the others; your words don’t have the same impact and importance as theirs.
When you add up their condescension, it becomes clear that they believe they hold the truth. They don’t even entertain the idea that a ‘lesser’ person could be right. Your difference from them is seen as a problem, a flaw that needs to be fixed. They see themselves as doing you a favour, reaching down to you with their infinite wisdom and generosity. They extend a helping hand, not as an equal, but as a way to bring you closer to their level.
About
Details hide themselves in plain sight; it serves one right to look below eye-level from time to time. (This is taken somewhere on the Plains of Abraham in QC)
To get back to my original point, they won’t push you to stop doing art per se, but they will make you feel bad about doing it. And if they claim to be an artist themselves, then your mistake is that you’re not doing it to their level or the right way.
But then, is it that important to base our own worthiness of being called an artist on such people?
I didn’t think so either.
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Then we’re left with the worst part: we ourselves are doing the judging, we project our own insecurities of not being enough, not being quite there yet. Then we move the goalpost over and over again, and never reach the point of confidence we finally need to give ourselves the title of “Artist”. We might even never realize we’ve been one from the start, that it’s the easiest thing to become.
Everyone can be an artist. It takes a simple key ingredient, one so important that you cannot have art without it: emotion. You need to be moved by what you’re doing, to feel the emotions well up inside you; how could you ever hope to instill a reaction from your audience otherwise?
Being technically correct is the worst kind of correct. That follows into art as well, if you take it at its literal value. A photograph could be masterfully composed and still feel off, empty, even cold. Same with the musical arts, you can mechanically play a song to perfection on any given instrument, but if you don’t pour your heart into it, then that’s all it is going to be: mechanical.
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Some would say this is in Ottawa, near the Electric Building. Really like this sculpture.
It’s pretty clear now that art is emotion; thus, if you intentionally create a piece with which you are connected emotionally, then you created art. That alone makes you an artist. It’s a liberating truth: the only person who has the power to make you an artist is yourself. No one can remove this or deny it to you.
I will then go forward with a renewed identity and higher confidence. I am an artist because I decided to be, and no one has the power to strip it away from me.
